Confessions

Monday Mourning – Totems

May 13, 2013 by ERP in Blog, Confessions, Discussions, Featured, General Updates | 1 Comment

 

Monday arrived after a turbulent weekend – My dh’s birthday, Mother’s Day, four children who seemed hell bent on making the decibel level rise to noxious levels, just to torture me for their amusement. Yet here I sit, pondering life and choices. There are moments when I believe in fate, karma, past lives, reincarnation, soul mates, bonds etc. Then there are moments where I question my sanity, the world, life, and meaning. Days where I try to stay positive, upbeat, happy, when all I want is to cry for reasons unknown to me.

peregrine-falcon-3

Do you believe in Totems? Lately, this past month, I’ve seen this Peregrine Falcon. (This is a photo from the internet, but the same coloring as the one local to me)

This is one article I read on Falcon totems: and holds true for what I am going through. (Just thought it was interesting, and I’d share)

The Angelic Shaman Totem of the Falcon almost always refers to the Falcon’s meaning of a past life connection and protection. Expect to meet someone from a past life that you have a strong connection with. You may have been sister, brother, mother, father, friend or foe in past lives; whichever the past connection it is time for your souls to work things out.

Falcon medicine also brings and suggests swift movement, mental agility & higher vision over all of the BIG PICTURE. Way back in history the Falcon originates as an emblem of the SUN, thus falcon medicine promises success, victory and rising up above a situation as so does the rising sun. The falcon also represents Archangel Michael as a sun symbol.

The Falcon is king of all birds & can also suggest a huntsman, or the Germanic sky-gods Wodan & Frigg ~ also symbolizes the trickster Loki.

The Falcon can be considered a warlike symbol.
Falcon medicine promises ‘animal totem visionary ability’, wisdom and guardianship of your visions.

Falcon medicine also indicates an awakening of visions that may lead you to your life purpose or an expansion of your life purpose as in developing unseen gifts you may have learned in past lives.

The Falcon almost always carries a message of transition and change through soul growth and healing – perhaps in your craft, work, hobby, residence, sensitivities, new level of talent, new gifts of spirit being brought that will change you.
Falcons hover in slow motion over their hunting grounds & are also very patient to sit for hours watching out for prey. Once the prey has been spotted the falcon will move swiftly towards its prey.

Falcon medicine asks us to use our mind in seeing our best move BEFORE we act at an opportune moment. It asks us to focus on precision in our decisions with strategy towards building our dreams. Sun symbols like the falcon often represent dreams that we are very passionate about in our heart. Dreams that make us happiest that maybe we have not manifested before. Spirit sends falcon to ask you to take part in your own dream by researching and planning strategy as pursuing a hunt.

The Falcon shows deepest of majestic mystery… the grace to fly alone with the dignity of knowing that not all men & women know all facts on Earth so they may not understand the solitary flight amidst the highest spheres. The falcon whispers of old secrets of our soul…

http://angelicshamanministry.com/2012/01/28/falcon-angelic-shaman-totem/

I question everything. I constantly wonder. There have been choices made in my life, by me, and by others, that I can’t explain or control. That I can’t define or make sense of.  So, I sit here staring out my window into my front yard, happy the trees are finally turning green after a long and cold winter, yet I am filled with a an inner flux. A discord. I feel disconnected and disjointed. I’m not sad. I’m not happy.

I wonder what prose I will write today.

Perhaps a new story about a Falcon.

 

 

Confession Wednesday

May 8, 2013 by ERP in Blog, Confessions, Featured, General Updates | Leave a comment

 

Well, it certainly has been a long time since my last confession, hasn’t it? What can I say? I’ve been writing, in emotional overload, chaos has swirled around my life and my kids, well, the hellspawn are in top form. I’m still not sleeping, eating junk food, watching sports and I can’t wait for Dexter to start back up in June. Right now I’m invested in Game of Thrones, The Voice, Nurse Jackie and the NBA playoffs, though the Celtics are now out O.o.

EmpathyI can’t believe May is already upon us. Seems like just yesterday it was February, and I was at the Casino with my best friend.

So, what to confess this time around.

I’m hypersensitive. Too much noise, too much light, too much chaos and I start to shake, and my head hurts then my body shuts down and I retreat. I can’t be outside without sunglasses. Whether it’s sunny, hazy, or snowing, I have to wear shades. I have wicked light green eyes, and my heritage hails from Scandinavia. (Finnish and Swedish)  I have freckles and natural blonde hair with red highlights. I’m fair skinned and pale.

Part of my hypersensitivity stems from a gift, and part of the overload comes from when my emotions get the better of me.  Sometimes large crowds affect me, other times they don’t. I never know when the HS will set in and take over. I’m not a captive to it, I don’t allow it to run my life, but occasionally I hermit myself away.

Anyway. There is my confession for the week. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend.

Today is my middle daughters birthday – She is Seven. Happy Birthday Sweetie <3

Got Waffles?

April 23, 2013 by ERP in Blog, Confessions, Duality, My Books | 4 Comments

 

So, with the release of Duality today, I found myself up at 2:45a this morning, lightly dreaming about Waffles. I know, sounds silly right? There I was, in the cupcake wars kitchen (The show from TLC) Well, it was sort of like the cupcake wars kitchen. Anyway – I kept coming up with good waffle recipes. I decided to make Lavender and Chamomile infused waffles. Doesn’t that sound delicious?

661403My first batch, one of the judges, Candace – Choked, because they were so dry. Florian didn’t like the texture, and the celebrity judge just stared at them and shook his head.

The next batch I made, I used store bought whipped frosting to make them sweeter. (I know – that was a bad move) They hated them.

I made yet another batch – this time making a heated cinnamon butter to drizzle on the waffles, along with a honey sauce. They liked these but said the plate was too sweet.

I kept going. And going. And going. Just like the movie groundhog day. Over and over I made waffles. I kept going until the waffles were freaking perfect. Only they never were.

I made a homemade mint whipped cream. A fruit sauce, homemade maple syrup – I even dusted them with powdered sugar and dark chocolate shavings.

By the end I’d made so many waffles my hands hurt and the judges always found fault with something. Nothing was perfect. I wanted them to be, but I always failed.

Wow.

So, to analyze that dream – the answer seems pretty obvious to me – at least with where my head was at. Of course – now I want to try and make these waffles for real :P

 

To shave or not to shave…

January 8, 2013 by ERP in Blog, Confessions, Discussions | 1 Comment

 

women_s_razorTo shave my legs, or not shave my legs…that is the question. I leave on Sunday with my mom and two girls bound for Disney. (Well, Orlando and Animal Kingdom, sun, and a beautiful resort) I’ll also hopefully get to meet up with my beta reader (Shellie Marshall!) at some point before I come home.

I confess – I hate shaving.

But I don’t wanna shave :P It’s winter up here in the north, and shaving makes me itchy like a mother fucker. But the societal stigma is pressuring me to shave. Now, I’m a natural blonde, so the hair on my legs is light, but tell me, my readers and friends…

Hairy legs bad, or hairy legs ok?

And… Go!

If I shave – then I’m scratching at my legs like a damn kitten on a post.

Doesn’t hair serve a purpose? Why else would we have it? :Crosses arms: and :glares at razor:

And why are they ‘girlie’ colors. Does pink make taking a sharp object to my sensitive skin more enjoyable? Pleasurable? What? Does it attract me more? Hell no. I look at it like an instrument of itchy death!

Friend or Foe? How do you decide?

November 23, 2012 by ERP in Blog, Confessions, Discussions, Featured, General Updates | 11 Comments

The internet is a vast environment filled with pleasures, potential friends, but also stalkers and pretenders. It’s so easy to get lost, and to find yourself surrounded by like-minded individuals, and yet, you think “Are they real?” “Are they being truthful?” “Are they who they say they are?”

I know I’ve wondered on many occasions. As an author, I find the internet to be both a blessing and a curse. I’m not reclusive in real life, per say, but I can be anti-social and shy. I’ve always spoken better on paper than through physical speech, so I took to the internet like a toddler to food. My world exploded, and I found myself immersed in a culture I never knew existed.

It was exciting, and terrifying.

So far, for the most part, it’s been awesome and amazing. But, and there is always a but with a post and question like this one, I’ve been hurt, and burned by people I thought were friends. It’s painful, and it makes me feel even more isolated.

The internet can be beautiful, and it can be ugly. We all know this. We’ve all put our trust in someone, even in a small way, and have been hurt on some level. The question lies… (no pun intended) how can you tell a genuine friend, from a foe? How are signs missed? How can people be blind to someones nefarious motivations?

Is it because they want the lies to be true? Is it because it’s easier to believe the lie, than to look deeper at the person wielding or spreading the lies?

I dislike conflict, and I dislike lying. I try to conduct myself online in the same way I conduct myself in real life. With integrity, honesty, compassion and a genuine care for others. I believe in karma, (sometimes) in fate, and that you reap what you sew.

So, a question. How do you decide when to trust someone on the internet? How do you know if the person is genuine? How long does it take you, and how far does someone have to go before you will back away and leave them in the dust?

Can you really trust anybody anymore? Are we all pretenders to some degree?

 

Have you ever lost your words?

November 14, 2012 by ERP in Blog, Confessions, Discussions, Featured, General Updates | 6 Comments

Some days, there just aren’t any words left for me. It’s not that I don’t have them… it’s that I lost them.

Usually, as I’m cuddled up next to my husband at night, I get these fabulous snippets, dialogue and scenes. I watch them in my head like a movie, rearranging little pieces, adding color, texture, scents and sounds. I’m amazed at my mind sometimes. I’ll lay there replaying the scenes over and over, until I think they are perfect, and I say to myself, “Okay, time to get up and write them down!”

Only my body has other plans, and I’ve drifted off into heavy-limbed nothingness.  My thoughts ride the sleep tide and then I wake up, exhausted from the trip, and having lost most of my precious, amazing (Hey, I can think it’s amazing, it’s not egotistical) words.

I sigh in defeat, and holler in my head that *shakes fist* “Next time! Next time, I’ll get up, and write this shit down, because it was epic!”

I know what you’re thinking. If it was so epic, why did I forget? Well, you see… I also have another life. This secret life called “Motherwifery.” (And oh, it’s not the same as that show on TLC with the dude with many wives)  You’ve probably never heard of “Motherwifery”, and I’m not surprised.

Most authors try to keep our secret selves under wraps. Sometimes my hellspawn require immediate attention when they wake (re: they wake me up out of my vampire, zombie trance) and, by the time I’ve had a few moments to myself, the words from my dreams are replaced with a grocery list, errands, chores to accomplish for the day, and then, the icing on the proverbial cake – The screaming of the two youngest hellspawn who aren’t school aged yet for whatever their little hearts demand. Uh, I mean, desire.

Sigh. The glamorous life of Super Author – ER Pierce. Mom extraordinaire, fighter of the boogey man, spiders, and scary shadows dancing on the walls in the moonlight. During the daylight hours, Super author ER pierce transforms into terrifying mom.  She can scrub the shower while wearing a pencil skirt, vacuum with her magic Dyson, and clean up after the two young monsters (all fucking day long) as they spill cheerios, dirt, juice and clamor around her legs for attention.

Do you ever have this problem? Seemingly great, fantastic, awesome ideas float through your mind as you fall asleep, exhausted from your day, only to wake up and find they vanished? Please, tell me I’m not alone!

 

 

Hell Week – When does it end?

November 12, 2012 by ERP in Blog, Confessions, Discussions, Family, Featured | Leave a comment

 

 HELL WEEK

So, I’ve spent a week in Hell. I’ve got to tell you, Hell is not all it’s cracked up to be. I mean, yea, there were pillars of fire, and endless cries and screams, but… they taut it as some fiery inferno of eternal ecstasy, but all I felt was a boiling body of pain and thrashing. The thrashing wasn’t even the good kind. Neither was the moaning.

I thrashed and moaned, and my core temperature sky-rocketed, and I thought, “This is it! I’m going to explode!”

Yea – I did. Only it turned out I was delirious from a wicked high fever, and I had a kidney infection. The pitch fork wielding hunka-burning-love, was the doctor.

What? You didn’t know the Devil was a woman? Of course she is, most women have the potential to become master manipulators, though not all will.

I may have posted on Facebook that I was afraid the doctors were going to take away my cupcakes. *Bats eyes* What? That is a real fear, especially for a sugar addict like me.

I’m on some heavy antibiotics, and holy shit, they make me exhausted. The kind of exhaustion that hits you out of no where, and you wrestle with your eyelids to stay open, only they feel like sandpaper scoured through with vinegar. The last few weeks have certainly been interesting. We had a hurricane, (heard of Sandy, anyone?) A Nor’easter, which apparently we are now naming (Athena…really? Athena?) and then the blasted rolling, stabbing, “OMG I’m going to die on this bathroom floor” (and if I don’t, I’m going to kill my kittens, because my bath mat smells like cat urine) delirious pain from my kidneys.

I’ve thought about writing. But I haven’t written anything down. I can barely sit here and type, and all four of my hell-spawn are home from school.  My dungeon master hasn’t allowed me to go off on my own yet, until I’m better, and I’m going stir crazy not having any focused time to write. I have deadlines!

Deadlines! Doesn’t mother nature, my body, or my littles care about my deadlines! Self-imposed though they may be, I have them, and I need to write!

So, that’s my news. Oh, and I did streak my blonde hair with red. (only the front) so now I feel like a live version of Cordelia Kelly, from Duality – Coming soon.

 

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Confessions (13) Genie in a bottle

October 3, 2012 by ERP in Blog, Confessions | 4 Comments

 

Hello my fabulous friends and fellow authors,

My confessional this week deals with wishes. When I was growing up, I used to wish on the stars and dream big. Now that I’m an adult, I find myself wishing less and less. I’d like to bring back the fun of my youth, and the imagination and wistfulness.

Here are the rules:

You can’t wish for more wishes :P

You can’t wish to be a millionaire

Those sum it up. Anything else goes. You have one wish – One PERSONAL wish. What would you wish for?

 

Confessions – I can’t believe it (12)

September 26, 2012 by ERP in Confessions, Featured | 6 Comments

Confession #12

So, it’s been a while, I know. I’m sorry. I promised I would keep up and I find myself extremely busy! However, I need to make more time for you, so I pledge to do better. Any way, for those of you who are new friends of mine, I usually write a confession post on Wednesdays. Generally they are fun and a way to interact and have a laugh.

I find myself in a bit of a spot though, as I come forth this week and confess. You see, for a long time I hated ‘reality’ television. And OK, I still do, that hasn’t changed. BUT, and this is a big but (Sing it with me now, I like big butts and I can not lie…) *Looks around* My crazy is showing, better shove that back inside my brain. So, onwards.

I’m just going to blurt this out.

I’m addicted to THE VOICE.

There, I said it. They make me laugh so much. The way Adam, Christina, Cee Lo, and Blake razz each other and talk shit just does it for me. I love to sing (admittedly not well) and I love to listen to music. To further confess… I didn’t go to Zumba last night so I could stay home and watch The Voice.

OMG. I stayed home, ate pumpkin whoopie pies with homemade maple filling, and drank my favorite Moscato mixed with ‘Simply Lemonade’ with Raspberry. (So good, it was like Sangria)

What is wrong with me!

I have to say that I think they made a mistake last night though. That man (Jeffrey James?) I LOVED HIM. His voice… Gah. Totally panty melting. (I wrote this on Tuesday)

Added– Last night (Tuesday Night) What was wrong with them for not turning their chairs around for that 55 year old woman who sang so awesome! Gah!

And OK, this is really embarrassing but lately, when I’m alone (Say, in the van or in the house, shower etc) I pretend I’m on The Voice and sing my heart out…Sometimes I even use a fake microphone. O.o

 

Confessions (11) Supernatural Powers

August 29, 2012 by ERP in Confessions, Featured | 6 Comments

Hello my friends, I hope you are all fine and dandy. It’s been a while, I know. I apologize. The summer got away from me, but I hope to be around more now that two of my hellspawn are back in school. :evil grin:

 

So, last night as I was trying to drift off into la la land, I had a thought about supernatural powers. Some are cool, some are scary, and some are just plain silly. This week I am going to give you a choice of three powers. I want you to choose which one you would rather have of the three, and tell me why you don’t want the others.

Here are your choices:

1) You can feel others emotions (Empath)

2) You know what others are thinking (Telepath)

3) You can see the future (Clairvoyance)

I’m currently writing about an Empath, Cordelia Kelly — and have written a bit of telepathy in Fractured Moon, with Aurelia, Ville and Ceithin. (No, there isn’t a love triangle. Ville is Aurelia’s twin brother)

Having a super power would be a fascinating and difficult circumstance. I know which I would choose, and why. I know why I don’t want the other two. I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours… :laughs:

 

 

 

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