I’ve been working on a book called, My Big Fat Book of Teenage Poetry. It’s a collection of all my thoughts and feelings from my angsty teenage years. Like many teens, I suffered from Anorexia, struggled with control issues, moved and cried. I had my heart broken, smiled, laughed, but mostly I felt lost and lonely.
I wrote this piece when I was 16. It’s dated 7/26/1998 (My 17th birthday was on August 24)
Copyright 2012. Author ER Pierce. All Rights Reserved. This is an original work.
Such a feeling,
A bittersweet loneliness.
Cold am I,
How cruel the deception
Of these passing days of contentment.
Such feelings running through me
My blood soon to boil.
Why am I the way I am,
such a mask of real identity.
Inside a scared little girl,
Outside a maturing adult.
This world, this world of endless lies,
this world, this world of sad goodbyes.
Soothing my pain, by holding inside,
all of the fears,
I carry, I must bide.
Changing fast, a heartless reality,
Such a feeling,
My revenge such a bitch.
Yearning for my saving grace
Saving that one last breath.
Running scared, through the unknown
Fuck this world, Fuck this, the only world I’ve known.
A chill to the weather,
A small burst of sunshine
A shadow being cast,
Over my everyday weakening heart.
Still such a burden
I’m still such a bitch
Finally, some act of sparing.
A calming, burning, peaceful sensation
Looking down at these bloody fingers
Cold, cold as ice.
That is what I’ve become.
Now my answer,
My saving grace
Together at last, for one more memory
Of me, my knife, and my executioner.